Let’s face it- we are all awesome human beings. I like to think that as a baby I was dropped into a pool of glitter and awesomeness…and maybe some bronzer too. I truly didn’t recognize this inner self awesomeness or who I really was until my 30th year. Just thinking about the gal I was in my 20’s- so much wasted brain space and worries on things that really didn’t matter…’She doesn’t like me, he won’t ever date me, I can’t do this, I’m not good at that.’ People would say, ‘Amanda Bay- You just have to be yourself,‘ and I thought, ‘But I`m not quite sure who that is’. When I was younger (I’m still young…tsk tsk) I had all these ideas about who I wanted to be. I built my life on trying to be all things to all people, and thought I had to prove my self-worth. I was dying to hear someone say that I didn’t need to try so hard to be perfect; that I was enough and it was ok. We are all guilty of this- caring about how other people perceive us and how to get more of the things we think will make us happier…but then I turned 30.
Okay Amanda Ann Bay- You’re a real adult now – Woo hoo! sh*t is gonna go straight to your hips girl (it’s true- your metabolism gets lazy in the third decade. Not so awesome fact. I guess no more persians and a pile of bacon for breakfast without feeling the consequences.) And then there’s that inner voice that I quickly learned comes with the arrival of ‘adulthood’ (I call her Demanda). “Remember that list of goals you made in your 20’s?? That crayola timeline? How many things have you actually crossed off??” Activate panic mode! I haven’t been to…I still haven’t paid off …I didn’t get that big promotion…I have yet to reproduce a mini-me…is that a grey hair!? – complete OVERLOAD.
Society tells us that by 30 we should have it alllllll figured out- our career, our financial situation, who we should be married to or dating, the colour of our living room walls… and so on and so on. But I say, stop fooling yourself, there is no such thing as a plan. Let me let you in on a little life secret- every one is winging it (shhhh don’t tell anyone). Ya they have goals and the experience and even look like their ‘life plan’ is on track, but trust me, no matter what their age, they don’t have a clue what’s next. Stop torturing yourself about not being what he or she or Demanda (I`m sorry if she bugs you too) wanted or wants you to be- and just Bay Awesome.
Bay Awesome- Living your life; not letting it live you. Aspiring to be a star in reality over a reality star. Committed to creating and living a life you love; Investing in yourself without the slightest bit of apology. Inspiring awe.
Ok sure, this may sound a tad self help-y, but it’s simple; once you figure out who you are and truly accept it, you choose to bay awesome regardless of your circumstances and then as a result you are the best YOU, you can be. Think of it as a lifestyle… a hot romance.
SUCCESS!! I finally figured out who I am. Happy dance! It only took THIRTY years (and I’m sure I will change my mind tomorrow). I’m finally comfortable in my own high heels, and although my path isn’t quite clear, I am walking the walk, and I kind of really like that. There is so much opportunity, room to grow, battles to fight and love to give. But how did I get to this point? Well you don’t think your way into becoming yourself, that’s for sure. You have to mess up, fall flat on your face, experience public embarrassment, lose ‘friends’, feel betrayal, get your heart smashed into a gazillion pieces, massive disappointments, setbacks – ouch!!! Does anyone have a band-aid? This all helps us figure out who we aren’t, and then that’s when the magic happens and we realize that we are already truly, wildly, messily, who we were born to be- Fabulous and flawed (and awesome!).
I’m Amanda Bay. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I love to share stories. Where there is good music and dancing instantly becomes my favourite place. I like to climb (but I’m terrified of heights), but I’m always looking to go higher. I love, love. I think slow dancing is the sweetest and most romantic thing on this planet (and not the kind in nightclubs- gross!) I stress over the silliest of things. I’m passionate about everything I do which can be exhausting at times. I base my moral compass on established traditions. I’m coming to terms with my sensitivity. My biggest flaw is assuming things. I have a very social personality and respect friendships. I’m easily wounded. And when wounded, my emotions are often not contained (says people..pffft). I’ve learned to pick up the pieces and it was totally worth it. Birthdays and holidays are the best. If I haven’t talked to you in two weeks, I miss you and am probably offended. Food and wine makes my world go round and a lake/beach is my happy place. I hate being labelled the ditz just because I care about my appearance. And yes, I am selfish sometimes… But if you don’t care about yourself, who will ?
I agree that one of the biggest challenges in life is discovering who you are, but the second biggest challenge is being happy with what you’ve found. If you’re feeling stuck, remember: awesomeness happens when we’re willing to embrace the unfamiliar, and just like Carrie Bradshaw said, “Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.”
Now go, #BayAwesome xo
ps they aren’t grey hairs, they are strands of glitter resurfacing due to all the awesomeness. 😉